Drowsiness and Everything Else

I'm always sleepy. It doesn't really matter what time I go to bed at night or wake up in the mornig; something is constant: the desire to lure myself to oblivion by sleeping. Sometimes I fight it, and sometimes I don't.

The worst happens when my drowsiness is accompanied by sore eyes. Imagine a situation where you need to stare at your screen to work, to write, because that's how you make a living, that's how you pay for school, the doctor's appointments, food and clothes, but here you are: your eyes have turned against you. Not only are they sore constantly, they're filled with the desire to push you to the land of dreams.

When people talk about me 'getting better' or 'regaining my health', I just think they're being unnecessarily optimistic. I've developed this theory that my eye problems and struggles with dizziness will last for the rest of my life. It's a hopeless prospect, but one that I might have to accept as my ever lasting reality.

Sometimes I call it adulthood and try to go on with my days and not be sour about it.